Lunch with Mars and Dinner with Venus (Archived Blog from an Old Blog)

Friday, December 22, 2006

Lunch with Mars and Dinner with Venus

I had lunch on Wednesday with the team I work with. They are all men. We had a ball. Steaks all around ,beer and lots of talk about sex and breasts!!! As waitresses walked past, breast size was discussed, burping after lunch seemed to be compulsory, and each seemed to have a great story about a lap dance they once had. I was privy to the secret ranking system they have for the female contingent at work and even found out who was ranked where. think I was made an honorary man. They even told me I had the biggest nuts... chestnuts. One of them asked me for a hug on the way out - I am guessing to check the authenticity of the nuts...

Then later that day it was dinner with the girls. White wine all round, grilled chicken breasts and salad all around and no burping. There was no perving from us, I don't think we noticed any males around us. We laughed and talked about how strange one of the guys at work was. Then there was gossip about - well mainly other females. We all hugged and kissed goodbye, but it didn't feel like anyone was trying to cop a feel.

Two very different meals - but both amazingly good fun.

Thank God we are not the same!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sweet Satisfaction (Archived Blog from an old Blog)

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Sweet Satisfaction

Today we went to play Putt Putt Golf. I sucked... I knew I would..I always do. I cheated on the score card and still lost! But then it was time to earn some credibility..in the world of pre-pubescent boys and single dads...the arcade games! Left Harry  on the kiddie games and made my way to the big boys games, oh after a few rounds of the basketball hoops thing, just to show off.

It was after the Daytona race with the single dads that I spotted the big challenge... Time Crisis 4. There was eleven year olds loitering and I knew this would be the game where I would either be idolised or jeered. My turn arrived and they laughed and told me "you dont know what to do" in a voice only an eleven year old can muster... you know what I mean... pre-dropped. The coins went in and the gun went up. For a non-violent person I loved the way that gun felt in my hands... such power...  So my first competition got shot before I did..five lives each.. then I got hit. They all laughed! But not for much longer. It was time for the machine gun to come out and kick some biological insects butt. Two lives down..him not me..then three, four and yes five.

I kicked his arse and it felt good. Sure he was eleven but I didn't care. I beat the next kid too. It was a small victory but a good one. I was cool again...

Then I put the gun down walked over to Harry wiped his nose with a tissue I had in my bag, told him to be careful and tripped over an electrical cable.

It was only for a fleeting moment that I was cool , but it was oh so sweet!

Trust (Archived Blog Moved Over from Another Blog)

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Trust

It's only a small word, five letters, one syllable.

How can this little word mean more than any other word you or I know. Our whole lives revolve around this word. This word makes us who we are.From the moment we are born, trust is something we crave, need and live for. We look into our mother's eyes and trust her wholeheartedly, no conditions, no exceptions and then the foundation is set…..

Does she keep that trust?

Does she put conditions on that trust?

Does she betray your trust?

Does she lose your trust?

Does she honour your trust?

As a baby we give our whole selves over to this trust, firstly to our mothers and then to others around us, but as we grow that unconditional trust starts to get broken down. Perhaps it was the day your dad said he would pick you up from school and forgot so you walked home…again still too young to realise that every time something small like this happened you lost a small amount of trust. Perhaps it is something far worse...

As teenagers we give our trust to our best friends and tell them our most intimate secrets only to have that trust taken when they tell someone else.Then there is the opposite sex. Our hormones arrive and thus we set ourselves up for years of our trust being broken… and us breaking someone else's trust. I am guilty of this…. Alex Dean, my first true love – in Year 8. I chased him, then let him chase me. Then when I had him, I dumped him… I left a note with my sister so when he came around to my house he got the note, while I was on my way to see another boy. He was on his bike so he chased me down the street and threw his bike on the ground crying. I was mean... Than a year later older and wiser I wanted him back, so I chased him again and he said he would only be my boyfriend if I didn't do what I did to him the last time. So he gave over his trust to me…again……. three months later I did exactly the same thing to him..again.

Did I have an impact on his life? Probably… he lost a little bit of trust….

There were many more boys that I chased and then dumped….thats what teenage girls do. Do we realise the impact we have on these adolescent boys? No. Now I have a son, how will I protect him from girls like me?? When I was 16 I met Steve. He was older than I was – 19 I think and not from my area. He was exciting…rode a motorbike. He was a body builder…. I thought I was so lucky to have such a perfect boyfriend. He would pick me up from school on the back of the bike and take me to clubs. I looked up to him in a naïve teenage way and gave him my full trust. There is nothing I wouldn't do for him. My family hated him, so I stopped speaking to them. We moved into our own little flat and I thought life was perfect. Until he started asking why dinner wasn't ready, or why I was wearing a skirt so short… I started hating going to night clubs with him because if a guy came up to dance with me..I'd know about it later.
This went on for a year. The more I tried to please him, the more I ended up making him angry. When he wasn't angry he was awesome. Then I was 19, I left him. I just moved back home and told him it was over. He called me daily. Sent me long stem roses every single day for a month. He would come into my work and leave me presents before I got there in the morning.

Did he have an impact on my life? Yes Did I lose my trust for people…..no.

I am still naïve and think everyone is worth trusting….. I let my heart rule who I am and how I think. I still believe everyone is good until they prove to me that they aren't. In business I am ruthless. I am cynical and read people like a book. In my private life, I jump in the deep end. I like passion and I like to trust. There is a nagging thought at the back of my head these days though..it keeps begging me not to trust, but my heart won't let that rule me.

When we trust someone, we are handing them a part of ourselves and when someone trusts us they are giving them a part of themselves….what could be a better gift and who would ever want to miss out on that?

TRUST…. A small word with such huge implications… think about it next time you use it. 

Mum's The Word (archival blog from another blog)

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Mum's The Word

A male friend told me recently that he wouldn't like to have a baby with someone that already had one as it wouldn't be as special for them as they already had one.... he hasn't had kids before...  So it got me to thinking...I know how life changing and spiritual it was to have my son, but I also know that if I was to have a child with someone else it would be a whole brand new experience... everything about it would be different. Spending those nine months with the baby growing inside you with a new partner would be such a different experience and to go through the labour again..this would be amazingly different. I mean even if you were having a second child with the same partner it would be a new experience!!

So it made me start thinking about my first experience as a mother and how it felt...

I found out New Years Eve 2001 that I was pregnant and all of a sudden my life changed - in one split second, because now I was responsible for someone other than me.

My pregnancy was such a wonderful time. Others might not see it that way.. u see I had morning sickness every single day of those nine months right up until the day after he was born, but to me that meant nothing....I was having a baby!! I was one of those girls that glowed during their pregnancy...my hair was thicker, my skin was great and I actually lost weight instead of put it on!

I think the most amazing feeling in life is when you feel the baby move in your stomach. I was told at the time to really try and remember how it feels because there is nothing like it in life again.... whoever told me this was right. I used to lay in bed at night and watch the bump move around. If I went to bed and he wasn't moving I would poke him a bit to make sure he was okay!!

The day I went into the hospital was both the most scariest and exciting days of my life. I went in on a Saturday afternoon (I was being induced..doctor was going on holidays). I was induced at around 4pm in the afternoon and then spent all night waiting... waiting....pain...pain...

The next morning around 9am they decided to bring on the labour as the baby was a bit stressed out. From there I had 4 hours of full on labor and contractions. I won't say it didnt hurt because it did, but for me it was the most spiritual amazing experience of my life. How to put it in words is difficult, but I didn't speak for those 4 hours. My sister who was in the room said it was amazing...I was so calm and peaceful. My only way of communicating was nodding and squeezing the midwifes hand. I remember my doctor coming in saying I would be a few more hours and I thought fuck you arsehole I'm not doing this for much longer, so when the midwife asked me if I was ready to push, I had no idea what she meant but I nodded because I was so desperate to meet my baby...

I don't really remember how it felt, but I remember the ohhs and ahhs from my sister and the midwife telling me he was nearly out and then I saw him for the first time..... and they placed him straight on my chest to hug. I felt my heart almost leap out of my chest and I couldn't believe he was mine.. it was surreal and I realised at that moment what true unconditional love was. I was overwhelmed and the last 24 hours of calmness and control were gone. I cried and couldn't stop...love, exhaustion, excitement and fear...

I watched the nurses clean him up and check his details. The room was buzzing with activity but it was like he and I were the only one's in the room. I couldn't take my eyes off him and when they gave him back to me I never wanted to let go. I fell asleep with him in my arms...

The next few days that I spent in hospital were so perfect. I hear of mum's who go home the same afternoon they have their babies, but now looking back I realise why they like you to stay in the hospital. It is such a great bonding time...no outside world interference. I didn't even know what day it was, what the weather was like or what was happening in the world. Those few days were spent getting to know my son...I knew every part of his little body, every little sound and facial gesture.. I watched him all day long and most nights. He was such a perfect little baby.

So when I think about having another child, I realise that yes I have had the experience of childbirth, but there is nothing more exciting and special than that, so to have another one I feel would be just as exciting and definitely a new experience.  I don't know if I ever will have another child. I don't rule it out but I don't expect it either. What I do know is, if I do it will be every bit as special and wonderful as the first time.

Nice Guys...Bad Boys.... (Archival from an old Blog)

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Nice Guys.... Bad Boys...

Why is it that when a guy that you know is just bad for you walks past you or accidentally brushes up against you, you get goosebumps on the back of your neck – yet the guy who treats you so nice and respects you and would give you the world walks by and you don't?

I know, I know…. Its called chemistry..but the age old question that can never be answered is why the bad boys? And what makes a guy a "bad boy" ? Do we as women feel like we can tame them or nurture them.. why do we bother? They are just heart breakers waiting to happen!!

I guess with "nice guys" there is a fine line between being a nice guy and a doormat. No woman wants a doormat unless they are an absolute control freak, and deep down are they really happy in that relationship? I don't speak for all women, but for me, I like to feel protected and looked after… I want my man to be my MAN….

I've heard a theory that the reason girls go for the bad boys is that a guy who is too nice sends a reaction to the female where she places him at a  lower status to herself.. and people don't value what they can have too easily. Interesting theory, but what I have worked out is the less interested you act in someone the more they are interested in you…strange concept! It is like you have to act like you don't care to get someone to care…

But you know sooner or later you get sick of the shit..the constant mind games, the bullshit that goes along with it. Some women don't…. are they are those ones who are still single when their kids have grown up and still out chasing "the one"? Are they the ones usually bitter about men and feel like they are owed a thing or two.

Ive started to change my thinking and I'm letting a few nice guys in and the weird thing is they are funny and nice and sweet and treat you so well, that at first it is a strange concept – something I am not used to, but I am realizing that the nice guy does have confidence, does have energy and does have spontaneity… the just don't advertise the fact. I realise that I should be dating the nice guys…not taking them for granted.

All that aside, the thing is I like normal guys… Some of these self proclaimed "nice guys" complain that no woman take them serious, they only want friendship and all the arseholes are stealing the women.

Here is the facts:

Women like confidence "bad boys" or even normal guys aren't afraid to approach a woman if they are interested. If you are happy in yourself this feeling is given off and women will be attracted to it ...Women deep down want a MAN not a doormat !

Romance is nice, but everything doesn't need to be romantic. Women can sniff someone trying to hard from miles away so they run.

In closing…. A nice guy with a little bit of bad boy inside…. too much to ask for? :)

Imagine Saying What U Really Think! (archived post moved over from old blog)

Wednesday, April 04, 2007



Imagine Saying What U Really Think!!


Imagine just being honest and saying what you think….

How much easier would life be – no games and no bullshit!!

Instead of "So hey I do actually like you a lot "we skirt around it, not looking too eager …oh but also trying not to seem too distant either.Like Homer Simpson once said "Never say anything, unless you're sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do". That is kind of how we do things!!

Remember when you were in primary school….if you "loved" a boy you just told everyone…. Lachlan is my boyfriend and that was that!! (yes i did have a bf Lachlan).I guess each time your heart is broken or you break someone's heart, you become less and less open about these things!I get it, but I just wish it was different. I understand we all want to protect ourselves from rejection or hurt.
So instead, do we go through life missing out?

Girl likes guy. Guy likes girl. Both of them try and keep it casual, don't seem too interested. Girl thinks guy doesn't like her…starts to act even more distant. Guy thinks girl doesn't like him…starts to act even more distant… Neither one of them is going to budge.Outcome – they drift further and further away cause neither of them wants to get hurt, but what they don't realise is that both of them are actually interested. Girl starts seeing someone else. Guy cant understand why…but lucky he didn't say how he really felt, cause he thinks she was never really into him.

It all seems like such hard work…..

Apart from accidentally wetting your pants occasionally and getting hot peanut butter sandwiches in your lunch box, I think I'd rather be in primary school again and tell everyone that Lachlan is my boyfriend… and even when he chases me around the playground and then pulls my pony tail, I'll still lean over and plant one on his cheeks and he will wipe it away…..but as he wipes it, his little heart is beating a bit faster and he leans over and kisses me back…… the simplicity of it all is so refreshing!

Unemployment Is Working For Me!! (Early Archival - Moved Over from Another Blog)

Wednesday, November 21, 2007



Unemployment Is Working For Me!!


Well here I am my third day of being unemployed. It's hard work I really need to tell you!!
It is 10.10am and I am so damn busy that I still haven't even had time to get out of my pj's. Okay well that might be a lie, but hey they are pretty comfy!!
I didn't realise just how busy being unemployed could be. Monday I ..hmmm well actually I didn't really do anything, but that's because I ..well no excuses, I just wanted to bum around and read magazines.


Yesterday I took Harry to his school orientation..we got free m&m's which as I am now unemployed it was the only food I've had this week. We then went to Spurs for lunch (oh oops I gave it away.. I am eating more than just M&M's). Then off to the plaza for photos with Santa and if I had a scanner I would be able to show you the photo! Harry wore his Santa Rocks t-shirt and his punk rock tight black jeans and skater shoes. He looked like a mini Sid Vicious…which is probably not the best look for photos with Santa but he chose it and who cares right!




Then we did a spot of shopping… well more than a spot, my feet were aching!!


I have a very busy day scheduled for today. So far I have wrapped all of the Xmas presents I have here and made a list of what I still need to buy. I have gone through all the crap I have bought for Christmas Dinner. I then made a list of what I still need to buy..then I re-wrote it neatly.


After that exhaustion I stopped for morning tea/breakfast and soon I will start on making Christmas Cards (yes homemade cards…).


Then I will do my single mother duties.. cleaning the house, washing the clothes and shock horror…arghhhhhhh ironing!!


My nasty car keeps giving me dirty looks when I pass by the blinds. I can't use the old excuse "I'm too busy to wash it" so instead I have just closed the blinds.
I have so many other projects that I have started ages ago that I am going to actually do so that is exciting.

My memory is improving cause I don't really have a lot to remember…


Harry and I are having a mummy and son weekend… We are going bowling, than to the movies and spending lots of time doing "learning" games. Ohhhh we are making Xmas cookies as well. I even bought him a little chef outfit that he liked (My friend Matt says I have too much time and money..).


I was pretty devastated to find out that the cricket is on and I can't become a certified unemployed single mother because Days of Our Lives isn't on..our as the seasoned stay at home mums call it DOOL.


 And sit down for this girls and boys…..Young and the Restless isn't even on the TV anymore… thank god for Bold and the Beautiful..I'm guessing it should only take me a day or so to catch up on who Brooke is sleeping with now… I mean there is only so many Forester men that she can choose from right??




On the job front, there is plenty out there… I have had feelers out and had a few phone calls. I cancelled the one on Monday because honestly I couldn't be bothered… see I have the Centrelink attitude already.. my parents would be soooo proud.






Anyways I must go the puppy is awake and crying at the back door to let her out for a play.










Oh great news My Super Sweet 16 is on MTV….yes a half hour of brain numbing TV!!!