Shane the Hot Butcher

When I was in Year Ten at school I used to walk through Coles Mall most afternoons after school, before I caught the bus home. That was in 1991. Around that time is when my school uniform was at its tightest and shortest!
I would walk through on purpose because Shane the hot butcher was always at the counter when I walked past. It started with a few wolf whistles from him..weird I know a butcher whistling at someone..but I was 15, how did I know he probably did it to every single girl that walked past. Sometimes I would sit on the bench out the front of the newsagent pretending to listen to every word my girlfriends were saying, laughing pretending all was awesome in my world, secretly looking over to see if he was watching.

One day Shane called me over, we talked, I was in love! He was tall, muscles all over..total spunk!! So every afternoon I would walk past and have a little chat. He would always ask me out on a date, I always said no. Then one afternoon I laughingly said "Yeh righto" and so we organised a day to go out.

So at this point I must explain. I am a 15 year old girl and a real life "man" with a real job and a car has actually asked me on a date. So much for being that cocky smart arse full of confidence chatting to him at Coles Mall every afternoon. My dates with boys had so far consisted of a grope and a pash at  Blue Light after skulling a bottle of Passion Pops at the War Memorial across the road, a pash before the teacher could catch you at a school disco and the occassional pash at the bus bay. Oh once I met a boy at Blacktown Ice Skating Rink and we snuck into the disabled toilet for a pash there..but a date?? With someone that actually had started shaving?

Me on the right..short skirt, not as short as it gets though!

The day of the date arrived and I agonised over what to wear. What does one wear on a grown up date? I wasn't sure if my tight jeans and low cut top - my standard Friday night at the Skatel clothes would be up to scratch. My mum was so excited I was going out with "a boy of maturity" because she thought I needed someone older to tame me... and yes she did actually come out the front and tell Shane this!

So I actually have no idea what god awful fashion victim clothes I chose, but Shane arrived bang on 10am as promised and I went out to greet him at his car. I couldn't speak ..I was tripping over every word I said. Of course my mother had to come out. He drove a new Holden Ute. Mum later told me he was a keeper if he had enough money for a new car and a motorbike! He had flowers for me. I was so flustered I don't even think I thanked him for them. I practically threw them at my mum while she discussed me with Shane as if I didn't even exist. My Dad was nowhere to be seen. I now think that might be because he probably didn't approve of his 15 year old daughter going out with a butcher called Shane.

So I jumped in the car and off we went up the mountains to some sort of dirt bike thing. He was going to compete or maybe just ride his dirt bike around a track. He had bought a drink for me and set me up on the side of the track to watch him. I sat there frozen the entire time he rode around that track. I am pretty sure it was for a long time too because I was starving and my bladder was so so full!

Every time he went past he would wave. I would wave back.. I guess it was him. Hard to tell under the helmet and clothing but I guess noone else would be waving at me.

When he was finished riding, he asked me if I wanted to go down to McGraths Hill for a ride with him or if I wanted to go home. I said I will go with you, so off we went. He pulled up at McDonalds and said he was going in to clean up a bit and did I want a drink or something to eat. I said no thanks I am fine. I was still so scared and nervous that I didn't want to tell him I was starving, thirsty and may pee my pants at any given moment, so instead I sat and waited for him thinking..Bahaaaaaa I wanna go home..I want my mum.....

We then went to this vacant land and he offered to take me for a ride but as I was dying to pee I thought I better not so he went off for a ride and I sat there waiting (again). I kept thinking I could squat right now and he wouldn't even know then I will be fine, but no I sat and waited thinking the minute I pull those pants down he will come riding up. At 15 that really seemed like a HUGE issue for me!

He eventually came back and drove me all the way back up the mountains home. He asked if I wanted to go to Cherry Park to hang out : translation grope and pash!
I desperately wanted to so so much, but I really needed to pee, but couldn't tell him that, so I said um do you mind if I go home. I'm not feeling very well. I think we kissed..it was awesome!

He drove me home and I ran inside and made it to the loo just in time.

For a few weeks after that he asked me out again but I was so embarrased of how lame I was on the date that I could hardly talk to him.


All these years I have thought about hot Shane and how much I wanted to tell him ..it wasnt you it was stupid me wanting to pee but my 15 year old brain was too embarrased.

So about a year ago, aged 33 I walked into my local butcher and nearly fell over. There he was!! He had not aged or changed one single bit.... We said hi and it was awkward. I wanted to scream across the counter "I needed to pee" but then I think does he even remember that day??

So now whenever I walk into the shop we have a little chat and I act all relaxed and wordly but the back of my neck has this burning uncomfortable feeling and I feel my cheeks blush every single time I speak. I feel like I am 15 again!!

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See my other boyfriends didn't shave yet!